On September 13th, one day before her 90th birthday, my Grandma, Kathryn Voorhees Steigerwald, passed away. Grandma had been on a slow decline for the past year but the past few months have been the worse. Her memory was going, her body was getting frail and at the end did not have the energy to eat. I knew my Grandma couldn't live forever so when things started to go downhill, I hopped on a plane with Ella and mom and we went to Florida to see Grandma Kay. It was a trip I will never forget. Grandma had so much fun with Ella playing hide and seek. My Grandma's favorite spot was in the laundry basket but the problem was she got stuck and needed me to lift her out. Just hearing them laugh together as only a Senior and a youngster can do was adorable.
First, let me rewind because let me tell you, my Grandma was amazing. Here are a few of the facts I learned or remembered about my Grandma:
--She was born in 1920. Women got the right to vote in 1919.
--At the time she was 18, only 3.5% of women went to college. She was among this 3.5%.
--Her favorite food was chocolate ice cream.
--She loved nothing more than her family being together. This is not just fluff. The smile and laughs were what she lived for.
--She wrote to me every week when Ella was born (and I mean every week!!). We both love letter writing and nothing beats getting snail mail (that's not a bill). Her advice, encouragement and funny poems were a great source of strength for me.
--She had 5 children. 4 of those were within 5 years (Kay, Jan, Dale, Anne) and then the youngest, Judi, came a few years later. I remember asking her how in the world she had 4 kids in 5 years and maintain her sanity. She first questioned having her sanity but then seriously replied that she always wanted a big family and that although it was tough, it was what she truly wanted.
--She had a social work degree and was one of the leaders in the gerontology community, linking those in need with the services available. In fact, she compiled a list of these services that is still used today (25 years later).
--She was a Deacon and probably the most religious person I know. Plus she lived her life the way a good Christian should. She was a lover of life and a lover of others. My aunt shared a story about my Grandma and her next door neighbor. Her neighbor couldn't afford many clothes and refused new clothes but my Grandma gave her some of her own clothes. Talk about giving the shirt off your back!
--She met Grandpa at college and together lived in Cleveland, Cincinnati, Naples, Ft. Myers and probably others.
--She had one sister Gladys (Gladys, her husband, Jim, and son, Chris, came to the ceremony. I haven't seen them since I was 17).
--What she wanted for her kids and grandkids: education (this is huge for both sides of the family and is quite amazing given the times my grandparents were raised), to marry good people, happiness.
--My grandma used to write a "Dear Abby" type of column for a Senior Magazine. Nobody was writing her questions so one night (about 15 years ago) we sat down and crafted a few questions for her to answer. We sent them to her and she cracked up with our crazy questions. I just wish I remember what we asked.
--Although I spoke at the service and I thanked my aunts for being such strong, educated, supportive women, I can't remember if I told my mom that too. I also wanted to say (and it didn't come out because I inherited my grandma/mom's crying gene) that my mom represents so much of what my Grandma was. Actually, all of the children have some of Grandma's wonderful qualities but I definitely think of my mom as very similar to my Grandma Kay! I am sorry I wasn't able to tell you that during the ceremony, Mom!
--We are blessed that 6 years ago Grandma sat down and wrote down her whole life story. And I mean her WHOLE life story. If your grandparents have not done one of these books, please encourage them to do it. Each child is going to get a copy of it (it is maybe 150 pages filled with stories).
The service was held at my Aunt Judi's church. It was a beautiful service and although I wasn't planning on speaking, when I got to the church I felt called to. I don't know if that makes sense if you haven't had a calling before, but I knew I had to do it! I sat down for about 30 minutes and thought about my Grandma and what she meant to me personally. I knew we had a tight bond with the love of the letters but was unaware that nobody else in my family knew this. I guess she was my secret little pen pal :)
The book Grandma filled with her memories
Many of these next pictures are pictures of pictures but I wanted to have them for my collection so I apologize the quality isn't great.
I love this pic of my Grandma & Grandpa.
My parents used to have this one in their room.
We had this design made into t-shirts back in '92.
Our family tree has really grown since then :)
The cousins
Our whole family
The Steigerwald children: Kay, Jan, Dale, Anne, Judi
The Wolframs
Jan & Angie
Gladys (Grandma's sister) and her husband, Jim
After the service, we went to my Aunt Judi's house for some good times. Our family loves games (especially card games) with many hours of Oh Hell being played. If you haven't played that game before, let me teach you. It's so fun and brings back such fun memories. I was talking to Judi about how important family artifacts and traditions are to me. I absolutely love hearing people talk about things they have passed down from generation to generation. Unfortunately I don't have anything from previous generations. Luckily Judi was here for this converstaion and quickly offered up a few plates Grandma had for many years on her hutch. Nobody knows where they came from and although I am sure they are not artifacts, it means so much to me to have a piece of her! Thank you Judi for sharing those. I can't wait to pass them down to my girls (when the time is right) :)
As a family, we went to a beach in Naples where my Grandparents loved to walk. We had another service with just our family, sending Grandma finally out to rest. It was so incredibly calm.
I just thought this was a cool picture.
We then went on a hunt to find the first two homes my Grandparents had in Florida.
This house is on Burning Tree and was on a golf course.
The house is on Dolphin Cove (what a great name for a street).
It had a pool and a boat dock.
Death is always tough whether it is expected or not, whether it's a younger person or an older person, whether surrounded my loved ones or not. I feel lucky that I had such a great pen pal for so many years. I will miss her letters, I will miss her contagious laughter, I will miss our family ring leader but Grandma, I know you feel better in Heaven and I know you and Grandpa are looking down on us! I miss you, Big Nana Kay!
